Thursday, May 20, 2010

Some Moms just don't get "IT"

I took my kids to the park today. It was a beautiful day, I had just finished working out at the gym, my kids were behaving, and I was full of Mama Mojo.  I happened to be wearing my "Mama Mojo" T-shirt today that my husband had made for me as a Mother's Day present.  As I was playing with my kids another mom came up to me and very negatively asked, "What is mama mojo?".  I was a bit taken aback by her tone, but was happy someone was asking about my business.  As cheerfully as I could, I dismissed her bluntness and replied, "It is my business name,  I am a life coach for moms."  Again, in her direct and blunt manner she asks, "What don't moms know, and what do you have to teach them?"  I wanted to just walk away, I knew this mom either wasn't getting it, or had limited social skills; neither which I had time for trying to watch 2 kids on the playground.  But...I went against my better judgement and I decided to give it one last attempt.  "I am not a parenting coach, I don't teach moms how to be a moms.  I support them in having more joy and creating happiness in all areas of their lives."  She again challenges me,  "What do moms have to be unhappy about?"  Are there really moms who aren't happy being moms?"  Sigh....  Now I am hooked, I want this woman to understand.  I tell her, "It is not that moms aren't happy being moms, it is that some women give up everything they previously enjoyed when they become moms.  They loose sight of their goals, confidence, passions. They may feel stressed anxious or confused."  She looked at me puzzled and said, "Interesting...sad, but interesting."  Then she walked away.

I had never had this type of reaction before.  Sometimes when I tell people that I am a life coach for moms they may ask questions about coaching.  They may be curious about how I help women, or the types of clients I support.  I have never been challenged whether there were actually moms who are not happy.  Ummm....This stumped me!

I watched this mom at the playground with her child.  She was a natural.  She was in tune with her boy, she was lost in playing with him, she was calm and loving.  She was the type of mom who would have made me feel very inferior during my "dark period" of early parenting.  I would look at moms like this who eat, sleep and breath "motherliness" and feel like I didn't measure up.  They are out there.  There are plenty of moms who get all of their joy and satisfaction out of being a mother.  I am not one of these people.  I love my children and they give me great joy, but they are not my only source of happiness.  I really do think you are one type or the other.  You either live to be a mom, or you try to live, despite being a mom.

Decide which you are and own it!

Stop feeling guilty about not measuring up to the mother goddesses around you.

There is nothing wrong with needing more to life then being "mom."


  1. Heather,

    I feel sorry for "the natural" who took it upon herself to stand upon a soapbox and attempt to diminish your life calling!

    Some people refer to such characters as Psychic Vampires. They can spot MOJO (of any kind, anywhere) and feel compelled to suck the life force from the source.

    If she was a truly nurturing individual, wouldn't she be supportive of all people, and not just her biological offspring?? Would not a truly "maternal instinct" override the need to judge others?

    I'm so proud of you for standing your ground!! Don't worry about the psychic vampires out there ... they have a tendency to attempt to project their inadequacies onto unsuspecting targets.

    All the best,


    (Proud Supporter of Mama Mojo for all who are seeking More Joy in life!)

  2. Psychic vampires...I like that! Thank you for your public support! You are such a great writer!!!!

  3. Welcome!

    Congratulations on a great day with your kids and your gym workout! Such an appropriate picture for this post - I love it!

    P.S. The first two sentences of your post are packed with wins. How were you feeling just moments prior to being faced with a blunt line of questioning that was phrased in a negative tone to boot? What can you take away from an encounter with anyone who just doesn't get a philosophy that you believe in so passionately?

  4. If I could change only one thing about my family, it would be the negativity with which we often talk to each other. It's something I'm very sensitive to and I believe has a lot to do with every other part of your life. When people bring this unwanted and unwarranted negativity to you, it's unbelievable! I'm glad she was such a natural mom. I'm sorry she had nothing more to give you other than negativity and insensitivity.

  5. I love my kids very much and they are a huge part of who I am, but I have to wonder what happens to moms who live for being a "mommy" when their kids grow up and have their own lives? It's important to find a life outside of being a mom, because as our kids get older they tend to want to find happiness ouside of being "mommy's little angel"