Thursday, August 8, 2013

The future of My Mama Mojo

I have been quiet..very very quiet.  I am a true introvert and tend to hibernate when I'm upset, going through major life changes or contemplating an important decision.  

During this hibernation-it was all three.  

You see, when I first started My Mama Mojo over 3 years ago I had a fire under my butt and pure passion in my heart.  I was bound and determined to create a new way of thinking for moms, a place for them to vent, get support and walk away with new empowering perspectives.   I was going to have phone clients from all over the world, run tons of local workshops and get into large corporations to help facilitate better work life balance strategies for moms through their EAP and HR teams.  

I had grandiose plans alright. 

Well... all of this happened, but on a MUCH smaller scale than what I had envisioned.  I did everything I knew to do to get this business going- even to a fault, and it just didn't happen. I thought this coaching business was going supply me with enough money that I could slide out of school counseling and become a full-time life and wellness coach- specializing in the Mamas overall well being and empowerment.  I have come to terms that it just isn't going to happen...

...or at least not the way I had initially thought.

At the same time I started to let go of my dream business coming to fruition, my part-time school counseling position unexpectedly went full time.  I was faced with the decision to hang on to the coaching that wasn't working out so well (and change schools, again) or accept the full time job and  get out of debt.  

I choose responsibility.  

I really do enjoy school counseling, and am especially fond of my current school, but hadn't planned to go back full time.  The decision has rocked my family, my coaching plans and my future. Although as I write this I fully embrace these changes (except now I have to wake up at 5:15 to get to the gym-not loving that!)  

In my heart, closing shop on My Mama Mojo just isn't an option.  

One of my greatest joys is when a new client finds me and breaths a sigh of relief that they aren't the only one out there struggling, and that they have found a safe (and fun) place to get support.  It is in these moments and during the coaching process, that I feel as though I have found my calling.  So... I can't let go of coaching completely and will still have a few evening coaching sessions available each week. I do however have to give up the newsletters, the active Facebook page, free talks and workshops for Mom's Groups and any time consuming advertising. This is my compromise.

 I just won't have the time because...

In addition to going back to work full time and having a little coaching on the side...big drum roll please.....I am going back to school!  I have taken 1 of the 3 classes I need to get my counseling license for private practice in Maryland.  Even though I have a MEd in counseling, I am not a licensed clinical counselor (yet). After the two remaining classes, I will have to sit for 2 exams and get 100 hours of supervision-then I can take insurance from clients! 

I have learned through this three year (highly emotional) process that I absolutely LOVE working with moms who are struggling in some area of their life. Whether that struggle is maternal guilt, marital difficulty, not enjoying motherhood, stress, lack of self-care, home organization, fitness, discipline issues, lack of job fulfilment, empty-nesters or they have completely lost themselves to motherhood (like I did)...I am here to help.  I truly believe my absolutely miserable several years of early motherhood was to prepare me for this very job.  It is what I am meant to do.

Happy moms make happy families and this is the basis and vision for what I do.  

And-I have always enjoyed working with youth in families as a school counselor for the past 15 years. So if I put my "two loves" together, I see my future counseling practice as working with youth, families, couples counseling (particularly adjusting to parenthood) -with a specialty in Postpartum Depression and anxiety.  It will be a slow process since I am working full time now (and oh yeah...I still have two young kids), but I hope to be completely done in 2 1/2 years.  

And did I mention...I can then accept insurance!!!!? Yippy!!!

So there it is...

  • I'm going back to work full-time as a school counselor
  • My Mama Mojo will exist on a very small scale with a few evening appointments
  • I'm going back to school so I can start a private practice (and accept insurance)!

Hibernation always works for me!

With love and gratitude to my newsletter subscribers, blog readers, FB  peeps, and most of all the many  amazing and inspirational clients I have met along the way.  You know where to find me if you need some some hand holding, a kick in the butt or someone to help untangle your destructive thoughts and routines.



Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Yup, "they" were right!

I was never one to get emotional at my kids' milestones.  When breast feeding was complete I felt liberated, when my kids started walking, I was happy for their independence (and my aching back) and I remember at my first child's first birthday party my husband and I high fived each other in celebration that we survived-both the baby and our marriage!  When other parents were welting up at the bus stop as their 5 year olds boarded the bus to go off to elementary school, I was all smiles at the thought of what we had done in preparation for our kids to fly from the nest (and the joy of no more day care payments).  I love my kids, but I was not sentimental about letting each of the early stages go becuase these times were quite emotionally challenging for me!

My husband and I both knew we would love having older kids, but the baby/toddler stage just wasn't our thing.  I remember rushing through each milestone doing mental checks in my head knowing we were that much closer to having elementary age school children. I have never cued at a baby or had even a fleeting thought of having another child once I knew our family was complete in 2006.  I have looked back from time to time, not wishing to do it over again -because for me the experience was really quite hard. But I have wished that  I knew then what I know now...

All those annoying people who made it a point to tell me to enjoy it now becuase it goes so fast-were right! 

It was like the universe was amplifying these sentiments to me yesterday.  I was  paying keen  attention to the young families around me.  I'm sure I am surrounded by similar experiences all the time, but for some reason I was really attuned to moms and young kids during my daily errands. I saw a mom mouthing the words to 'Wheels on the Bus' as she drove along in her hot mama mini van in attempt to calm crying baby,  I chucked as I witnessed a 3 year old potty catastrophe in the gym locker room, and I felt for the mom who was dealing with a two year old twins tearing everything off the shelf at the grocery store while she was attempting to fill her cart.  All three of these women were taking these situations in stride-each with grace and/or humor.  These are the very things that used to send me over the edge when I was living it.  I would correct the situation as quickly as I could and hope for time to hurry up and get here so I could have older and more independent kids.  These are the very moments I now remember fondly as I look at other families in the trenches-but I didn't enjoy it AT ALL while I was there.

I wished I would have slowed down, had a laugh and enjoyed the moment for what it was.

I can't turn back the hands of time, and I won't tell you to "enjoy every moment" becuase that is soooo unrealistic-but I can take these lessons and experiences and apply them to today.  Yes, these little monsters are demanding, frustrating and all consuming-but they are also so damn cute for such a short period of time.  I hope if you are anything like I was, or just in a frustrated space right now, that this post will encourage you to slow down, enjoy most of the moments (even the difficult ones) and to have few regrets when your kids are older and don't depend on you so much.

And for me...I will keep these thoughts with me when I am reading my 6 year old son the same Star Wars book for the 162nd time, I step on a lego in the middle of the night, when both kids come home from school and explode their  shoes, back packs and half eaten lunches all over my house, or my 8 year old daughter is bargaining for just 2 more minutes of a back tickle when I just want her to go to sleep already!  I will remember that these experience will soon be a fond memory, so I will stay in the moment and enjoy! But most importantly, I won't wait for these experiences to be memories before I enjoy them.  I will appreciate them today.  In turn, I may be the one balling my eyes out at the 5th grade graduation ceramony in just a few short years!

 When these times are gone,  I will long for the days my kids wanted me around!