Thursday, April 21, 2011

Our kids want us to be happy

I have just come out of a FUNK!  This funk was B-A-D!  It was a culmination of my perfect storm, the long winter-leading into the dark and rainy spring, falling on my face from an experiment to expand my business, and my husband being in pain, resulting in surgery.  I have not been this down since suffering from PPD with the birth of my first child.   While I was in this latest funk, I knew I was feeling depressed, but couldn't not seem to shake it.  All I knew was that I couldn't stand myself, my husband, my children, my dog or the tornado of toys and muddy paws that that are constantly taking over my house.  I was annoyed with everyone and everything.  I had no energy, no mojo, and nothing positive to say.  I also couldn't figure out why my 4 and 6 year old had been behaving so badly for the last month...until my funk went away.

Yesterday was the best day I have had with my family in...gosh, I can't even remember.  We didn't "do" anything yesterday.  It was cold and rainy (yet again) and we stayed inside all day.  Yet, my children did what I asked them to do, they were loving toward each other, they were playful, and the mood was light and fun.  I couldn't get enough of them.  I gave them extra hugs, I stared at their adorable faces intently while they spoke, and was actually a bit disappointed when it was bedtime (did I actually just write that)?  My children noticed the difference in me as well.  Throughout the day I was told, "I like your face when you smile, you are so fun, and I love when you play with me."  I was also gifted countless giggles, grins and cuddles by both kiddos.  Why?  Because I was happy.  I was fully present, my energy was positive, and I was enjoying them for the first time in a month...and they felt it.

Of all the things we think our children need-of all the things we "do" for them, what they really need is for us to be happy!

Now that I am officially out of this funk, I can so clearly see that my mood directly impacted the climate of my household.  The saying 'If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy' certainly was born from a mom in a funk.  Our children (and partners) look to our mood, tone and facial expressions to set the pace for the day.  It is unfair pressure, but it is true.  Try a day with and without smiles and see the difference in your family.

I know I have neglected myself for the last month.  I haven't exercised, no reading, no alone time, no pampering, no hobbies, no romance...I was a very BAD coaching client! I did absolutely no self-care, and of course it made my mood worse.  This experience of mine made me reflect on all the moms out there who may not necessarily be in a funk, but are not taking care of themselves because of guilt, lack of time or energy, or they just don't know where to start.  It reaffirms that our children (and partners) need us to be happy.  You are clearly not the only one who benefits from your self care-your children and partner will thank you too! It is not a luxury to take care of yourself, it is an absolute necessity!

What are you going to do this week to make yourself happy?

Enter to win some complimentary coaching!

My Mama Mojo has officially been in business for 1 year!  What started as a small, part-time phone coaching business has turned into so much more...and the best is yet to come!  To celebrate my birthday, I am raffling some complementary coaching away.  If you are one of the lucky winners, you can decide if you want a space in an upcoming group workshop (for local Mamas) or four, 30 minutes of individual phone coaching.

Sounds great!  Sign me up!

  • All you have to do is comment on this blog post.  Tell me (in as few or as many words as you like) why you are committed and ready to making some positive changes in your life to create more joy or bring back your mojo!  If you comment anonymously, please send me a private email so I have your contact info for the drawing.

  • On Thursday, April 28th I will do it the old fashioned way by pulling 2 names out of a hat...or maybe a left over Easter basket.

  • I will contact the 2 lucky winner and ask their preference (workshop or individual coaching)!

Thanks for playing and good luck!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Spring cleaning of the mind

As I am bagging up the kids' well worn clothes, packing up the random neglected toys, tackling the junk in the corners of my house, and cleaning the dirt off my windows-I am struck at how symbolic all this spring cleaning is for me.  Over the winter, I am a bit of a hibernator.  The cold weather hurts my bones and darkens my spirit.  I go to the gym less, I socialize infrequently, and I find the overall "blahs" hard to shake.  As the weather is warming up, and the sun is starting to shine, I am thinking about what a perfect time to spring clean (not just your physical space), but your mind, body and spirit as well.

What "junk" do you need to get rid of?  Are you holding on to limiting beliefs?  Have you been self sabotaging yourself?  Have you been procrastinating based on fear, self doubt...or perhaps plain old laziness?  Are you blaming motherhood for why you can't make any changes in your life? Are you ready to shake the blahs and bring back your MOJO?

As the clouds begin to part,  the vitamin D is soaking in your skin,  and beauty is blooming all around you-take this time of new beginnings to evaluate your own need to spring clean.  Perhaps you just need a minor dusting or maybe a complete overhaul-but wherever you are is the perfect place to start.

Happy cleaning!