One hell of a week!

One hell of a week!

I have had the kind of week that makes me want to crawl up in a little ball and never come out.  As my rotten week comes to an end, I am reflecting on-and digesting all that has happened, and where to go from here.

What was so bad?

One week ago, I called my OBGYN to hear the results of my lab work. The nurse on the other end struggled to find the words to tell me that I was in full-blown menopause.  Yup, that’s right, my eggs are dried up at the rip old age of 37.  To make matters worse, since I am so young, they have a much more “comforting” term-“premature ovarian failure”.  Gee, thanks…it’s always good to be a failure.  Well, like any 37-year-old premature menopausal woman, I took to my bed and cried for hours. 

I am still not sure what to do with this information.

The next day while I was out of town at a 40^th birthday party for my sister-in-law, I received a phone call that my grandmother had died.  The rest of the week was spent out of town, away from my husband and children at her services…emoting all over the place.

As if I wasn’t drained enough from the wacky hormones…

As I came back to town, kissed my husband hello and goodbye before he went on a 5-day trip, I went to work and was told that my position was cut (my part-time counseling job-you know, the one that gives our family the benifits and helps pays the bills). 

Total depletion!

How am I doing?

We all have our coping strategies, some healthier then others.  My tendency is to retreat.  I like to be alone, curl up, eat comfort foods and go to bed early.  I did a lot of these activities this week.  My hibernation however can’t go on forever, and a few days of pouting is about all I can manage before the house falls apart.  When things get crappy and the “poor me” time is over, I ask myself two questions:

1) What do I have control over?

2) What do I have no control over?

If I can’t control it, I allow myself to grieve, and I let it go.

• My hormone levels
• My grandmother’s death
• The loss of my job

If I have control over it, I get in motion to do something about it.

•  How I respond and treat my hormone levels
• How I decide to keep my grandmother’s memory alive
• How I start looking for another job

In any situation or hand we are dealt, we decide our response.  We decide how and for how long we grieve, how and when we pull ourselves together, and our next steps for creating change.

• I am done crying about my failing eggs.
• My grandmother’s memory will live on throughout my life.
• I will get my butt in gear and figure out what to do about this job situation.

What are you struggling with? Did you allow yourself to grieve? How long are you going to pout?  What choices do you have to make in creating some positive change?

With you every step of the way!