Friday, April 16, 2010
Slow down and chill out!
Today I drove half way to preschool when my daughter yelled from the back of my hot mama mini van, "you forgot to buckle me." After the mini crisis was over and both children were secure in their seats, she began to lecture me that I need to "slow down"..and that I was always in "such a hurry."
She is right. You see, this is not the first time I had been in such a hurry, or had my eyes only on the end goal that I forgot to stop and "smell the roses".
I rush my children to brush their teeth, I make them hurry up and eat, I herd them like sheep from the car to the house (even if they want to stop and look at something). The drill sergeant in me comes out whenever we are 3 minutes off scheudle for bedtime, or if they are not moving fast enough when I give a direction. These are struggles I am aware of, and work on daily. I am committed to being more in the moment, to slow down, to really enjoy and appriciate my "pokey children." I am far from where I want to be in my zen-like state, and we can all use a little reminder of what is really important..right?
When my daughter was about 4 months old I drove her all the way to work (45 minutes away) in a fatigued haze. I honestly didn't realize I forgot to drop her off at day care until my car was parked and I was going into work...and then it struck me, my reocurring pregnacy nightmare had come true.
I have heard many women share reoccuring dreams while they are pregnant. They seem to have a common theme of fogetting their baby in their infant carrier on top of the car or leaving their baby somewhere. These dreams are playing out our fears for not having enough time, energy, capability or memory to compete everything we need to.
This is a life of a mother!
To this I say, what is the hurry? Why are we always so frazzled? What is so important that we get ourselves sweaty and in a full blown panic before we even leave the house? Who really cares (as much as you) that you are 5, 10 or even 15 minutes late?
My dear friend who has a kindergartener with special needs, is often late to school. Her child resists school in a fierce way resulting in morning stress and an after the bell arrival nearly every day. Yesterday, she was stressed doing the morning drop off. She was hyper aware of the front office stares, was preparing for the verbal interrogation and going through her mind rolodex of what excuse to use this time.
This day was different. When she went to sign her daughter in late, she saw something that made her smile and relax..."over slept," was all it said. The mom before her brought her child late to school today too..and all she wrote was...over slept.
Why was my friend stressing? Why do I panic every morning when I am running 2 minutes behind schedule? What is the secret that some other moms have that allow them to remain calm and unrattled even if things are not going according to plan?
To this I say, who cares? Slow down and chill out!
Reflect on what worked today. Perhaps you got out of the house on time, your kids listened more then usual, you had a successful outing, or some well deserved "happy mama" time. Take note of what worked... and practice it again.
If something didn't work, reflect on this too. View it as a failed experiement, not your personal failure as a mother! Do something different next time...maybe you will have better results.
Whatever happens to make you feel pressured or stressed...
Take a deep breath, keep centered, keep balanced...
slow down and chill out!!!