Where in the World is Mama Mojo?

I have been MIA for a few months, I know.  I have been thinking of all of you and wanting to write more, be more present on Facebook, and send some inspiring newsletters-but I haven't.  Part of my absence has been due to choice.  I created a 2012 intention to slow down,  focus on what really matters and to put the "business" on simmer.

But...I've also been focusing my attention on other things lately.  So here is what has been sucking up all of my time...

1) I'm training for a 1/2 marathon!  This is WAY out of my comfort zone.  I never enjoyed running and only started in the early fall to try to get some exercise.  Although I am loving my sense of freedom and the fresh air, I am also QUITE SLOW!  So, the feet on the pavement takes a lot of time, several times a week!

2) I have come to the realization only recently, that my youngest is going to kindergarten next year and I have been taking every opportunity to play hookie with him.  Once upon a time I would send him to school for every moment I paid for so I could focus on my coaching biz and try to grow it into something  financially sustaining.  Now I would rather play with legos.

3) I have been asked to be the Keynote Speaker for National Women's History Month for the Federal Government and I am freaking out!  I am flattered and excited and honored-but I am also terrified, having nightmares and could throw up just thinking about it.  Lots of time has gone into not only writing the speech and creating the power point, but doing some soul searching and self-coaching on how I can get through this fear of speaking to a large crowd of people!

So, I have put all things related to My Mama Mojo marketing on simmer to concentrate with other life opportunities which have come my way.  I will continue to embrace new clients and hold workshops, but most likely will continue to be MIA from the blog, newsletters and frequent Facebook posts for a few more months.

Please don't be strangers and contact me if I can support you in any way.

I am not DOING anything new for the New Year!

I am a "doer," not an "experiencer."  This is good trait for assessing what is not working, completing goals and for general productivity.  But...it is NOT so good for experiencing life and simply being wherever you are and with whomever you are sharing the moment.

I AM MISSING LIFE AROUND ME!

When I reflect back on 2011, I remember spending a lot of time wanting, longing, wishing and planning. Wanting a bigger house, more clients, a bigger paycheck.  Longing for my husband to stop snoring, my kids to be calmer and sleep more.  Wishing for my dog to stop shedding and for the many piles of laundry, toys and crap all over my house to go away.  And planning about how I was going to "fix" all of it.

I DON'T REMEMBER BEING VERY GRATEFUL OR APPRECIATING WHAT I DO HAVE.

I had my moments.  Those sweet Hallmark moments-even days-when everything was flowing and effortless. I was thankful on those days.  But not all the days/weeks/months in-between.  On all the in between days I complained and made a plan on how to "fix it" and lost my appreciation.  I feel like 2011 was a year for discovering what I didn't like, setting goals and looking toward the future-but missing what was right in front of me.

I have felt this imbalance for the last couple of months and have done a ton of reading and reflecting around the ideas of mindfulness and the power of positive thought.  So... for 2012, I am not taking on any new projects, making a plan on how I can get more of something or fix a problem.  I am entering this New Year with fresh eyes and a new perspective about what I have all around me-that has always been there-and that I have been missing.

I am going to practice mindfulness (yes, it takes practice) and be very aware of my thoughts-and the power they have over my mood, health and overall perspective of life.  I am going to do less, experience more and find my happy calm spot. I won't be perfect.  I will find myself all in my head again- forgetting what I am doing in the moment.  I will hit a patch of negativity and complaints I am sure.  But, when I do- I will do so without judgement, but with a curious eye and wonder of how I can bring it back to the present positive moment.

What are your plans for the New Year?
Will you be doing something new or cutting something out?
I would love to hear about it!!!

Holiday stress? Do less!

Can your holiday season really be stress free?

For the past few weeks I have been inundated with tips and tricks from magazines, newsletter and blog posts promising a stress free holiday if I follow their simple steps.  And you know what? I don't buy any of it!  As a mother of young children the holidays are going to be stressful if you try to do everything you did pre-children.  It is the same concept as losing weight-there is no magic diet.  To weigh less, you must eat less. If you want to minimize stress, you have to do less.   


Period.  


So for what it is worth, here is one more stress free holiday tip:

Do less!

1) Make a list of everything you "have" to do.

2) Write a statement describing what the holiday season means to you (your values may have changed since becoming a mom). 

3) While reviewing the list, ask yourself if each item relates to your holiday values. Do you want to do each item?  Does it give you meaning or enjoyment?
     -If yes, great-keep doing it.
     -If no, scratch it off the list.

4) Whatever you scratched off, give yourself permission to be guilt free about it.

5) If something is really important to another family member-ask them to take it on.

6) Whatever you decided to keep-enjoy it to the fullest knowing that you don't have to rush through it to scratch something else on your list.

In using my own advice, I no longer send holiday cards or bake more than 1 kind of cookie from scratch.  I decline invitations to events that I really don't want to attend and I don't really care if my gifts are beautifully wrapped (I actually buy a lot of gift cards).  So call me a Scrooge if you like.  All I can tell you is that I make sure to plan the holidays in a way that is meaningful to me and my family-not a list of things to do.  I can honestly say, the holidays are not an increase of stress for me-because I am clear about the things I want to do and the things I have left behind.  If I miss these tasks when I am in a less demanding stage in my life-I will invite them back.

Are you up for revising your holiday "to-do" list in a way that creates meaning and joy instead of stress?

Are you talking to me?

"Your kids are so well behaved.  I didn't even know there were children sitting behind me until I got up to leave."  

Wow....are you talking to me?  

This is the compliment my husband and I received last week while we were out to Red Robin (you know the restaurant with the big red bird and unlimited fries).

This was not a fluke.

We receive the same compliment a few weeks ago while we were out for a "fancy" family dinner to celebrate our 11 year wedding anniversary (after we had to cancel our getaway weekend-long story).  When my husband went to the restroom a man approached him and said, "Your children are so well behaved, how do you do it?"  As we were leaving we saw this same man and his wife getting into their car.  My husband immediately spotted the car seats in their vehicle...and I felt a connection with them.  I remembered those days...wondering if/when we could take our kids out and they would actaully behave.

My husband and I cocked our proud peacock feathers and gushed over our kids on the way home-just beaming from this compliment.  We had come a long way! I was thinking of this couple-out for a night out-looking at our well behaved children wondering what the secret was.

The secret is there is no secret!

It takes time to teach kids to behave.  Some kids get it faster then others and some parents have more patients and tolerance. Our kids were not always so well behaved and I remember often looking at other families wondering how the hell they got their kids to sit, be engaged and practice their table manners.  Many a days my husband and I ended up in the car with one of our kids who was misbehaving, while the other half of the family finished their meal. If you could have seen us two years ago in a restaurant you would have either been highly annoyed that we were sitting near you, thought we were incompetent parents or felt sorry for us.  Whatever your opinion, we were a mess!  It was not because we weren't setting expectations, or following through with rules-it was because our children are very active, don't like to sit and are not real big fans of eating.  Period.

It wasn't just at restaurants, it was going out in public in general.  There was a time when I had enough of the humiliation, defeat and driving home with a face full of tears.  For about an 18 month time frame, I put myself and my children on house arrest.  I wouldn't take them out to eat or even to the grocery store together by myself.  My younger child is a wild child.  He would wander from me, couldn't sit in a chair (or high chair),  needed to touch everything and just wasn't catching on to the rules.  I spent so much time addressing his behavior that there were times that I had my eyes off my 3 year old for so long that it could have been a safety issue.

So I quit. 

I heard opinions such as, "How are you going to teach him if you don't expose him?" "Set the rules and if he breaks them-leave the store."  "You just aren't being strict enough."  Gee, thanks!  How about YOU take both kids to the grocery store and let me know how much food you actually bring home!

We continued to model appropriate meal manners at home.  We practiced safety rules at the park and using our indoor voices, staying with your mommy and listing to directions when we had to go to the doctor's office or were invited to a friend's home.  But it was a rare occasion that we went out to eat or to a store for something other then a one item pick up.

It took a looooong time, but he got it.

Now my kids are 4 and 6, and we get compliments about both their behavior.  Don't get me wrong, I have my fair share of discipline issues (especially with the wild child).  I still have my eyes on him at all times or destroys something or hurts himself-but we are getting there.  My approach worked for me and I wasn't influenced by other peoples' opinions on how I should be raising my kids.  My approach isn't for everyone, but it was MY approach and it worked for me.

So often we get caught up in what we think we should be doing or what the "experts" are telling us to do and it is not genuine to who we are or what feels comfortable to us.  Parenting is damn hard work, but it is even harder if you are doing it in a way that is inauthentic to you.

What are you struggling with now?  


What opinions are you receiving that don't quite feel right and what is your "gut" telling you to do?  


What can you do to implement a plan that is more comfortable to who you are?


What additional support do you need around this area?

New! Bring Back My Mojo Workshop

 Bring Back My Mojo! 

Not quite feeling like yourself since becoming a mom? 

Are you ready to feel great again? 

Come to Charm City Kids Club to connect with a group of like-minded women who are ready to laugh, get real, and support each other with the most common struggles of early motherhood. 

Through discussion, self-reflection and inspiring activities, you will learn realistic strategies to maintain your sanity and reconnect with YOU while enjoying in this crazy journey of motherhood! 

These 6 sessions will be held from 11:00am - 12:00 each Friday 

Starting December 2, 2011 and ending January 6, 2012 

12/2 — Becoming Mom: Your pregnancy and birth story 

12/9 — Letting go of GUILT, anger and resentment of self and others 

12/16 — Accepting changes you can’t control and changing what you can 

12/23 — Self-Care is not a luxury! 

12/30 — Who am I in addition to “Mom?” Creating your new identity 

1/6 — Getting clear on what you want: Setting goals and intentions 

Space is limited! 

$150 for all 6 sessions, and only $125 if you register before November 11 

 Includes a 58 page ebook of activities and self-reflection AND… 

 Free use of the Play Town for your child during the group session ($48 value)! 

If you would rather come without your child or your child is too young to use the space, you will be given 6 vouchers for future use. 

For more information or to reserve your spot, please contact Heather Sobieralski at (301) 717-7731 or heather@mymamamojo.com 

www.mymamamojo.com 

Run Mom, Run!

Is Running a Busy Moms Answer to Fitness... and Sanity?

I always liked the idea of running, but I have never been very good at it-or enjoyed it at all.  My experience of running is signing up for the high school track team because of the cute boys.  After I found myself on the B-String for sprints and taking quite a dramatic and humiliating tumble on the hurdles…it wasn’t very fun anymore.  So, I found myself on the opposite side of the field surprisingly skilled at the shot put and discus (even though at the time I was 5’2 and a buck 10).  Now, a bit more voluptuous, and a lot less concerned about cut boys, I find myself having an itch to be a runner!

I have tried over the years to like running, but it hurt.  It hurt my boobs, my pelvis and it hurt my ego. I have always been a relatively active and athletic person, but the running-I just couldn’t get. 

I became a mother for the first time almost 7 years ago, and have yet to find my fitness stride as a mom.  I would get on really good routines of going to the gym for a few weeks at a time and then someone would always get sick, schedules would change, the kids would complain about the gym daycare or I would lose my motivation. 

I have been thinking about running for quite some time now, and met the perfect person to help me over the hump!  

I was talking to a mother of one of my daughter’s friends.  She is not only a runner, but also a freelance writer about running and has a very popular blog called misszippy1.  I had talked to her about running on a few occasions until finally told her that what I needed was a running coach-someone to help me get started, teach me the right way and keep me accountable.  Well what do you know…misszippy1 is a certified running coach!  I signed up right away.

Miss Zippy (Amanda Loudin) took me shoe shopping, went running with me to watch my stride and sends me weekly schedules to follow.  My first week I was assigned to run 5 minutes/walk 1-minute 3x.  It is 5 weeks later and I'm up to 3 miles!!!  I live in Maryland, but Miss Zippy has clients from all over.  She breaks in newbies like me, modivates experienced runners to get past funks and trains people to prepare for marathons.

I am just not tolerating running, I am LOVING IT!  I have never had an exercise regimen that was so easy-easy in the sense that I put my 3 running days on the calendar, but don’t have to do them at a certain time of the day.  I can put my shoes on and run out the door or drive to the park for a change or scenery.  I am also feeling so empowered by my progress.  I run in the sun, the rain and have spent entirely too much money outfitting myself in preparation of the snow too!

I have found a new passion that is good for my brain, my mood and my body.  I only wish I had started 7 years ago and brought the babies along.

Were you a runner in your pre-mom days?  Do you find the joy of running now or have your ever thought about it?  Do you have your own fitness routine that works for you?

Would you rather be a mermaid or a whale?

At an entrance to a gym there was a picture with a thin, and beautiful woman.  Underneath the picture,  the caption read, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

I suppose this did not sit well with the anonymous author of this letter.  But here is one damn good answer to that question!


"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.


They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.


They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.


Mermaids do not exist.


But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?


They would have no sex life and could not bear children.


Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.


And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?


Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.


At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.


We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.


We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.


Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "
-Anonymous


How about you?  Would you rather be a mermaid or a whale?